Puget Sound English Department

October 21, 2009

New Words and Definitions from the Mensa Contest

Filed under: Quotations,Writing & Rhetoric — O. @ 4:37 pm

A correspondent has alerted us to some of the results of the Washington Post‘s Mensa word-challenge:

“The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1.   Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2.   Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an [ a—–e].
3.   Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you  realize it was your money to start with.

4.   Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a  hillbilly.

5.   Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6.   Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about  yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7.   Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8.   Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9.   Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these  really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.”

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